Treasure it forever
Vol. 3, Issue 24
“At my dear friend Tony’s celebration of life today, they had a table of books from his library with memorial stickers on the flyleaf and asked everyone to take one. What a lovely idea! I chose his copy of ‘A Confederacy of Dunces,’ and I’ll treasure it forever.” —Lori Wilkerson
NEWS & NOTES
One of a kind
Funeral directors are connected to their communities in a way that’s completely different from any other member of society. When the end comes, as it always does, these men and women help the deceased find a peaceful rest, assist the families in dealing with the business of death and serve mourners who want to pay their last respects.
But who teaches funeral directors how to do their job? In the past, when most funeral homes were family-owned, such duties were taught from one generation to the next. In the past century, however, regulations were put into place to rid the field of people who were unprepared or unable to provide these services in a dignified manner.
Now, if you want to become a funeral director, you need an education in mortuary science. Although most associate degree programs can be completed in about two years, additional training may be required (it varies by state). Classes focus on communication skills, the process of funeral home directing, mortuary law and ethics, and state regulations. Students also learn business management and accounting, counseling, history, psychology and sociology. Those who seek to become embalmers must take classes in anatomy, chemistry, microbiology, pathology, cosmetics, restorative art and the principles of embalming. In most states, students must also pass the National Board Examination and serve an internship to obtain their funeral service license.
Tim Kowalski taught generations of students in the Chicagoland area how to become funeral directors and embalmers. For 35 years, he was a mortuary science teacher at the Worsham College of Mortuary Science in Wheeling, Ill., where he prepared more than 3,000 students to prepare bodies for viewing – and to show compassion for the living. Known as “Special K” because of his last name and “Cobra” for his exacting standards, Kowalski also helped oversee the burial of indigent people in Cook County.
“You name a funeral director in Chicago,” Leili McMurrough, the mortuary school’s president, told the Chicago Sun-Times. “They were all taught by Tim. Very few people have the privilege of shaping a profession. And Tim did exactly that.”
Kowalski retired in 2024. He died on May 27 at the age of 75.
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Signs from a lost love
Last month, I posted an obit for NASCAR star Kyle “Rowdy” Busch, who died on May 21 due to complications of severe pneumonia that progressed into sepsis. He was 41.
In the weeks since the racing legend’s death, his wife, Samantha, has said that she believes he’s been sending her signs. In an Instagram post, she wrote: “After Brexton’s birthday party, Kyle had kicked off his sandals in our bathroom, and we never moved them. About a week after he passed, I had one of the hardest nights yet. Most of the night, I spent sobbing, wishing I could feel his arms wrapped around me one more time. I finally gave up on sleeping and walked into our bathroom. There, shining directly across Kyle’s sandals, was a rainbow.”
Samantha also reported being visited by a bird in church who looked right at her before flying away. Then, while everyone was praying, she opened her eyes, and the bird was at her feet. She described these experiences as “winks from God.”
“I know some people will say it was just a bird and just a rainbow. Maybe they’re right. But standing in the same church where we said goodbye to Kyle a few days earlier, and carrying a grief that still doesn’t feel real most days, it felt like more than a coincidence to me,” she wrote.
The couple has two children, 11-year-old Brexton and 4-year-old Lennix. On Father’s Day, Samantha posted a series of video clips showing Kyle as a doting father, along with a message telling him how much he was missed:
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We don’t “move on” from grief. We move forward with it
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NOTABLE OBITS
* James Burrows, 85, who won 11 Emmy Awards for directing hit TV shows, died. Although he spent years working as a stage manager for his father, playwright and director Abe Burrows, James decided to step out of that shadow and focus on television. During his five-decade career in Hollywood, Burrows directed more than 140 TV shows and pilots. He became a master of the multi-camera sitcom, which is shot in a studio, usually before a live audience, while directing episodes of “The Mary Tyler Moore Show,” “The Bob Newhart Show,” “Laverne & Shirley” and “Taxi.” In the 1980s, Burrows co-created the comedy “Cheers,” and during its 11 seasons on the air, directed 237 episodes. In the 1990s, he directed several shows that were part of NBC’s primetime “Must See TV” lineup, including every episode of “Will & Grace.” In 2016, Burrows directed his 1,000th television episode while working on the show “Crowded.” His final show, the 2025 sitcom “Midcentury Modern,” was also the last program starring veteran actress Linda Lavin. (Nardine Saad, Los Angeles Times and Glenn Rifkin, The New York Times)
* Former Army combat nurse Diane Carlson Evans, who spent years campaigning for the Vietnam Women’s Memorial, died at 79. The Minnesota native joined the Army Nurse Corps student program in 1966, was commissioned as a second lieutenant in 1967 and volunteered for a one-year tour in Vietnam a year later. While under enemy fire, Evans cared for countless troops in Vung Tau, where she worked in the burn unit of the 36th Evacuation Hospital, and in Pleiku, where she was the head nurse of a surgical unit in the 71st Evacuation Hospital. When she returned to the states, Evans was so haunted by the horrors of war that she decided to stop nursing. Then in 1982, Evans traveled to Washington, D.C., to attend the dedication of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial. That trip inspired her to advocate for veterans, particularly the 265,000 women who served in uniform during the Vietnam War, and to co-found the Vietnam Women’s Memorial Project, which aimed to create a new national memorial. It would take a decade of fundraising, campaigning and fighting against the patriarchy to meet this goal, but in 1993, the Vietnam Women’s Memorial was finally unveiled. It was the nation’s first – and still its only – memorial to military women on the National Mall. (Harrison Smith, The Washington Post)
* Daveigh Chase, the former child star who provided voices for two acclaimed animated films, died. She was 35. The actress launched her career in the late 1990s, performing in minor roles on the TV shows “Charmed,” “ER” and “Sabrina the Teenage Witch.” In 2001, Chase voiced the lead character Chihiro Ogino in the English-dubbed version of the Japanese movie “Spirited Away,” which won the animated feature prize at the 2003 Academy Awards. But her big break happened in 2002, when Chase portrayed Lilo Pelekai in the 2002 Disney film “Lilo & Stitch,” for which she won an Annie Award for outstanding voice acting in an animated feature production. She also terrified audiences worldwide that same year playing Samara Morgan, the creepy girl in the horror movie “The Ring.” Although Chase would later appear in the TV shows “Oliver Beene” and “Big Love,” her life away from the bright lights of Hollywood was difficult. She spent years struggling with drug addiction, and at the time of her death, was living on the streets of Los Angeles. (Jordan Moreau, Variety and Alexandra Del Rosario, Los Angeles Times)
* Inventor Greg Hyman, 78, who created the giggling red Muppet toy known as Tickle Me Elmo, died. The native New Yorker studied electrical engineering at Cornell, but dropped out to live in his family’s basement and create his inventions. In the 1970s, Hyman hooked up with Larry Greenberg, and they created a gizmo known as Major Morgan, a 16-note handheld electronic organ housed in a case shaped like a drum major. Hyman and Greenberg would license more than three dozen toys over the next two decades, including Baby All Gone (a doll that “drank” from a bottle and the milk inside seemed to disappear), and Baby Check-Up (a doll sold with a stethoscope that allowed kids to hear its heartbeat). After Greenberg died in the early 1990s, Hyman joined forces with Ron Dubren to create a toy that giggled. Their first iteration, a monkey named Tickles the Chimp, caught the eye of a Tyco executive, who wanted to use the internal laughing tech in a plush version of Elmo, one of the most popular Muppets on the children’s TV show “Sesame Street.” The new toy, Tickle Me Elmo, was released in the summer of 1996 and became an immediate hit. Although Tyco initially produced 400,000 dolls, they all sold out by the day after Thanksgiving. Parents were so desperate to buy one for the holidays that there were fights in department and toy stores. (Penelope Green, The New York Times)
FAMOUS DEATHS IN HISTORY
On June 22, singer/actress Judy Garland (47), former first lady Pat Nixon (81) and comedian George Carlin (71)
On June 23, virologist/developer of the first polio vaccine Jonas Salk (80), TV producer Aaron Spelling (83) and actor Peter Falk (83)
On June 24, former President Grover Cleveland (71), actor/comedian Jackie Gleason (71) and Lonesome George (the last known Pinta Island tortoise, c. 100)
On June 25, actress Farrah Fawcett (62), fashion photographer Bill Cunningham (87) and Olympic swimmer Bill Woolsey (87)
On June 26, philosopher/journalist Max Stirner (49), British publisher/writer Ford Madox Ford (65) and director/screenwriter Nora Ephron (71)
On June 27, historian Shelby Foote (88), Gen. George Patton IV (80) and actor Jack Lemmon (76)
On June 28, former President James Madison (85), screenwriter/TV host Rod Serling (50) and Canadian one-legged distance runner Terry Fox (22)
On June 29, biologist Thomas Henry Huxley (70), Swiss/German painter Paul Klee (60) and actress Katharine Hepburn (96)
RECOMMENDED SUBSTACK
FAMOUS LAST WORDS
“I am just going outside and may be some time.” --Lawrence Oates, Antarctic explorer, before walking out of his tent during the Terra Nova Expedition
MOMENT OF GRATITUDE
Thanks to David Clode, Unsplash, Lori Wilkerson, Threads, the Worsham College of Mortuary Science, YouTube, Facebook, Chicago Sun-Times, Rago Brothers Funeral Homes, Samantha Busch, Instagram, People Magazine, Nora McInerny, TED, The Written Word, KIWI Trailers, Los Angeles Times, The New York Times, Vietnam Women’s Memorial, Vimeo, Diane Carlson Evans, NPR, The Washington Post, ABC7, Variety, A Bit of Good News, On This Day, Playback.FM, Britannica: This Day in History, Time and Date, Wikipedia, Grief Casseroles, Canva and Deposit Photos for art and story suggestions. Note: Generative AI was not used during the ideation, creation or publication of this newsletter.
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